His Pretend Baby Page 41

  “Because I do,” he answers.

  His non-answer annoys me, makes me dig in my heels. “Listen, you don’t need a safe word from me to have a conversation about a situation that may or may not happen.”

  “There you go again, Purple, with your smart mouth,” he drawls. “You say I don’t need to hear you say the safe word. I’m telling you I do. Because I need to know you remember it, before we do this.”

  “But—”

  He doesn’t even let me finish my sentence about how we haven’t actually agreed to do anything yet, especially not “this.”

  “Safe word,” he says again, in a tone so firm I can tell this isn’t the kind of road block you can just swerve your car around. I either say the safe word, or the conversation is finished.

  And I guess I’m not quite ready for it to be finished, because I find myself mumbling, “Property taxes,” figuring it’s better to just give him the damn words if that will move the conversation forward.

  But I don’t give him the chance to gloat about it.

  “So you invited me out here? Why?” I demand. “To see if I’d come?”

  He shakes his head, a slow, lazy back-and-forth waggle that makes me feel like he’s laughing at me, even though his face is completely straight. “Because I wanted you to come.”

  “Even though I’m not your type.”

  “Because you’re not my type.”

  “I’m confused,” I admit. Because I am. Because I don’t know how else to respond to what he’s just said.

  Colin leans forward over his folded hands. “Then let me make myself clear. I don’t want you be a sub this weekend. I want to make you my sub.”

  My heart gets lost somewhere inside my body, and I can’t feel it beating anymore.

  “So what are you saying?” I ask, with what feels like a limited air supply. “What exactly do you want from me?”

  His blue predatory gaze stays on me, keeps me pinned to my seat. “What I want is you, Purple. Exactly as you are.”

  “But you said I had a smart mouth.”

  His mouth tilts upwards on one side. “I also said I want to shut it.”

  I narrow my eyes. It feels like he’s toying with me. Like I’m caught up in some kind of game and only he knows the rules.

  “Shut it how?” I ask, looking for clues about game play.

  “For somebody who likes sci-fi so much, you’re mighty interested in spoilers.”

  I swallow, “That’s because I have no idea what I’m getting into with you.”

  Colin sighs, and sits back. It’s nowhere near as intimidating as him leaning across the table, but it’s not exactly comforting either. This new position gives me an unsettled feeling. I’m reminded of my Paw Paw’s nature shows, the ones that featured predators who sometimes play like they’re asleep in order to get their prey to drop their guard.

  “I’m going to need that safe word one more time, Purple.”

  His stare is so lazy on me now, it somehow feels hard. And I know not to even bother trying to reason with him, because he’s not talking until I give him what he wants to hear.

  “Property taxes,” I say a third time, feeling like an idiot and seriously wondering what possessed me to come here.

  Colin doesn’t move, but something shifts in the air between us, and I feel like he’s finally leveling with me when he says, “Listen, a lot people overcomplicate this, but I do complicated shit for a living so I’m going to keep this simple. I want to fuck you. I want to say all the ugly, dirty shit I’ve been forcing myself not to say to you on the phone over the last four months, and I don’t want you to just lie there and take it. I want you to fight back.”

  Now, I know where my heart got off to, because I suddenly feel it beating inside my stomach.

  “And what happens when I fight back?” I ask him, careful as a bomb squad detonator.

  A beat passes during which Colin takes the time to lock his gaze onto mine, so I know he isn’t even remotely kidding when he says the next four words.

  “I fuck you anyway.”

  Listen, I’m not the gasping type. I’m a home health aide. I’ve seen stuff that would completely put one of those Forest Brook ladies on the floor. Seen it and not even blinked.

  But I gasp then, the air rushing back in my throat, like it’s running away. Running away from Colin.

  “Okay, well…”

  “You’re blushing again,” he informs me.

  It’s not a blush, though. Not like before. This is something else, a full body flush that makes me feel hot and cold at the same time. Everything is going crazy inside of me. I can’t figure out what to say. Or what to do.

  “Do me a favor, Purple,” I hear him say, somewhere far away.

  I don’t want to look at him, but my eyes come back to meet his blue gaze like they’re magnetized.

  “Don’t use the safe word.”

  18

  “Don’t use the safe word.”

  Those words finally jog me out of my paralysis. Bring my common sense back on line as I fully assess my current situation.

  I’m in some strange backwoods cabin with a man I’ve talked to a bunch on the phone but who, let’s face it, I don’t really know. Only Bernice knows where I am—and she’s probably not remotely worried about me, since me and Colin have been talking on the phone for months...

  And Colin just said in very graphic detail what he wants to do to me out here in this strange backwoods cabin that nobody can see from the main road.

  I run. Of course I run. Only a total idiot would not leap up from the table and make a break for the front door after hearing that.

  He catches me embarrassingly fast. Horror movie fast. I don’t even make it to the couch before he takes me down in a jumble of strong grips, sweeping legs, and superior muscle. Before I know it, my stomach and the side of my face are pressed into the carpet, and I’m forced to stare at the bright orange fire as Colin manacles both my arms above my head, his heavy body pinning me to the floor.

  “I’m going to make you pay for running,” he tells me, his voice low and mean in my ear. I can feel him, all of him, his shaft, hard as a steel pipe against my back.

  And I can’t tell if the overwhelming heat I’m feeling is because of the fire or his ruthless suppression of my body with his.

  But he was right about one thing. I’m nowhere near being a sub. It pisses me off to be held down like this, and even though I know it’s no use, I struggle against him, trying to get loose.

  He holds me down and, as if to prove how easy it is for him to do so, he pushes down my leggings. I soon feel cool air on the backs of my now bare legs.

  And he says, “Let’s see what we’ve got here…”

  My eyes pop wide when I feel his hand slide down beneath the band of my cotton undies and then I really begin to thrash, by hips bucking to get him off of me.

  Colin just laughs. Mean as a Tennessee cold front. And I feel two of his fingers slip inside of what should be a bone-dry space.

  But it’s not. And even I can hear the squick of his fingers easily pushing through my tunnel’s barrier because I’m so slick with heat. Soon he’s in all the way to the knuckles.

  Another mean laugh. “Damn, Purple.”

  “Fuck you,” I answer, anger wrestling with shame for the number one position in my head.

  Colin lets go of my arms. Slips his arm underneath me to grab my breast, hard. He kneads it and my pussy, his two fingers still inside of me as he does.

  “Do you feel how wet you are?” he asks, both above and behind me. “Even wetter than I imagined when I was jacking myself off every night, thinking about shutting that smart mouth of yours, imagining what it would feel like to fuck you into submission. Tell me something, Purple. When you ran, did you really think I was going to let you leave?”

  I hadn’t been thinking at all. Just panicking. And even more so now, because I don’t understand what’s happening. Why is he doing this? Why is my body responding to him doing t
his?

  “That’s what I’m going to have to punish you for. That and making me wait. Do you know how many times I nearly broke down and called you today? To tell you to get your ass up here so I could fuck you like this? I sat in this house, hard as a fucking steel beam all day, waiting for you to get here. I’m going to make you pay for that.”

  My mind is all turned around with conflicting emotions now. Shame and pride and fear and confusion. But most of all, lust. Raw and obscene. Because my body has never been handled like this. I wouldn’t have thought even ten minutes ago that I would want anyone to touch me this way.

  But my response is undeniable. I can feel the heat of my lust leaking out of me, making his hand slick as he works it inside of me. Squeezing my pussy as he does.

  I’ve never felt so helpless in my life and that makes me panic, which in turn gives me enough strength to try to break free again.

  I grab his wrist below our bodies with both of mine, and pin his relentless hand so it can’t follow when I roll beneath him.

  I kick at him and run again. And this time I do almost make it to the door—but he grabs me from behind and slings me onto the couch. I land on my back and he’s on top of me in an instant, pushing his own pants and underwear down. I hear the rip of a foil package, and I know what he’s doing with his hands, while his body is holding me down.

  I go for his face. Catching him with my nails.

  “Oh, you are going to fucking pay for that, Purple,” he says, slamming, then pinning my arms above my head.

  He sounds angry, but he’s grinning down at me, like I just made his entire day. I can feel his cock now, pushing against my slit. My cotton undies are the only things keeping him out at this point. And that makes me fight harder. I buck and bring my leg up, almost catching him where it counts.

  It becomes a real fight then. Me holding nothing back as I bite, scratch, buck, and kick. He handles me like an inmate at an insane asylum, applying more weight to whatever body part I’m trying to move, until I can barely wiggle, much less fight him off.

  We lie there then. Both panting. His sheathed cock so heavy and hard on top of me, it almost feels like it’s the only weight holding me down.

  “This how we going to do it?” he asks me then, still grinning. “Or did you get that birth control prescription like I told you to?”

  I raise my head and spit straight in his face.

  That wipes his smile clean off, and his whole face goes as hard as a stone sculpture.

  “Fuck you,” I say into his hard, violent silence.

  One of his hands lets go of one of my wrists, and he wipes the spit away. “Don’t use the safe word,” he says, his voice a dead monotone.

  It’s a threat. It’s also a reminder, and I remember just as suddenly as I’d forgotten when my adrenaline was running the show, that there is a possible way out of this situation.

  Property taxes. That’s all I have to say, and this will be over.

  “Don’t use the safe word,” he growls again, as if he’s reading my mind.

  He lifts up and I feel his hand rough below my waistline, grabbing at my underwear, yanking it to the side, so my pussy is fully exposed.

  Use the safe word, I think, my head filling with panic. I have to use it. Use it now, or he’s going to…

  He splits my lower lips open with the tip of his cock. “Don’t use the safe word.”

  I don’t use the safe word. Then I gasp out when he pushes into me with a rough shove, filling me up in a way that feels both overwhelming and insane.

  How could there possibly be so much of him?

  I push against his chest, even as my legs open to accommodate him. Even as my mind screams at me to use the safe word because this is some crazy shit. This whole situation is beyond insane.

  But I can’t say it. Can’t stop thrashing underneath him. It feels like the most fucked up experiment. Him shoving into me. Me trying to buck him off and getting more and more turned on, despite the fact that I shouldn’t be

  “You want this,” he tells me. “You’re going to come on my dick so hard, because you want this, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

  “No!” I cry out. Then I break off with a curse, because I can already feel it building. The friction of having him so tight on top of me as he rolls into me.

  “Keep fucking fighting it,” he whispers meanly. “It’s going to make it even better when you come all over my dick because you can’t help yourself.”

  “No!” I struggle underneath him, struggle against the building orgasm.

  “You got me so fucking hard right now, Purple. I’m going to give you what you want this time, cum inside you. But next time, I’m going tie you up, make you beg. That’s a promise, baby.”

  Beg for what? I wonder. Beg him to stop? Beg him to keep going?

  As if reading my mind, he says, “Later on, you’re going to be begging me to fuck you like this. But right now, I’m going to make this tight pussy mine.”

  His answer to my unspoken question pushes me right over the edge. For the first time since we’ve begun, my body goes slack, losing all its fight as the orgasm pushes to the surface so sharply, it’s verging on pain.

  “Colin!” I cry out.

  “Yeah, say my name. Let me know who fucked you into submission.”

  Again, my body has no business responding to this, but I come so hard. So hard, my entire body bucks underneath his, and the sensations rip me through me, bright and hot, stealing my voice so I can’t deny my submission. Can’t tell him this isn’t a surrender.

  Above me, Colin’s thrusts become sloppy. He’s still pounding into me, but with less purpose and more desperation. “Pussy… so tight and hot.”

  “I’m on birth control,” I suddenly find myself telling him on a gasp. “I’ve been on it for years. I just didn’t want to tell you—”

  Colin’s response is immediate. He pulls out of me. Rips off the condom and rams back into me. “Purple, girl…”

  It’s a warning, a threat, and a curse at the same time. Right before I feel his shaft expand and then release into me a few moments later.

  I have never in my life experienced anything like this. Had never been talked to that way. I’d never even been held down.

  Which is why I can’t understand why my whole body is tingling with happiness now. Why I can still feel my core contracting around him, pulling at him, like I’m still thirsty and desperate for him.

  “Christ…” he says, moving away from me. And it feels like he’s speaking for both of us.

  He stands up and I see his jeans are mostly still on, the front of them open. He must have barely pushed them down before entering me. I stare at the long, spent cock hanging out over the band of his briefs, but it’s soon hidden when he tucks it away behind his jeans.

  And that’s when I realize, with another truck load of shame, just how I must look, lying with my legs spread open on the couch, my full bottom totally exposed.

  I roll off the couch and head toward the leggings he pulled off of me. I can see them lying in a heap on the far side of the living room.

  “You ain’t going to like what happens if I so much as see you touch those pants without my permission.”

  His blue eyes burn cold fire into my back and my breath catches. I think about doing it anyway, to prove I’m not afraid. Even if I am. But he starts toward me before I can, pulling an afghan off the back of the couch as he does.

  “If you’re cold, use this,” he says, wrapping it around me. “Or me.”

  Then he takes me by the hand and says, “Come on back to the couch, Purple.”

  I follow him back to the couch, and sit down with him, my hand still in his, feeling somewhat mollified, but…

  The thought of what we just did makes my face go hot again. And I can feel him watching me, waiting to hear what I’m going to say next.

  So, of course, I give all my attention to the couch. Notice all it’s small details like I didn’t notice them befo
re. Apparently the afghan was serving multiple purposes, lying over it. Not just decoration but a way to cover up all the cigarette burns on its back cushions.

  “So your dad was a smoker?” I ask Colin.

  “Three packs a day, and sometimes he got too drunk to put them out in the ashtray. So he’d used the couch. Or me.” Colin adds the last bit like it’s just an afterthought. Then he says, “If the liver failure hadn’t taken him early, cancer probably would have.”

  I have to ask him, “How did you get it to smell so nice in here? My grandma’s house still smells like my Paw Paw’s pipe, and he passed a few years ago.”

  Colin’s thumb strokes the back of my hand as he answers, “Had to have two cleaning crews come through and keep the house open for a month to get the smell out.”

  An image of Colin opening all of the doors and windows after he inherited the house floats through my mind, and I wish I had my journal, but it’s back in Alabama. One of the many things I stupidly left behind.

  “So your father was a monster, and your mama was a saint,” I say. “Explains a lot.”

  He kind of half sighs. “Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Saint when I’m out in public. Monster when I’m here at my old man’s place.”

  “How many girls have you brought here?” I fold my leg up on the couch, so I can turn to face him more fully. “Is this like… your Back to Tennessee M.O.?”

  He studies me for a moment or two as if trying to decide whether I’m asking the question out of curiosity or jealousy. It’s both. The curiosity is only natural, but the jealously makes me feel real stupid, because he’s a country star and of course he has access to a bunch of women who probably wouldn’t have batted an eye over what we just did.

  But then he shakes his head, the corner of his lips tugging up into an almost smile. “No, Purple, you’re the only one I’ve ever done this with.”

  I look from side to side again. “Because I’m the only one who’s ever agreed to meet you out in the boonies so you could have your way with me?”

  “No,” he answers with a sad smile. “Truth is, my fame attracts a certain kind of woman, and fame whores don’t really have a whole lot of boundaries. If I wanted them to do something, act a certain way, they’d just do it.”